We’re entering into wedding season, a time of joy, excitement, and even frustration for some. But it’s also a time of grief.
I was talking to one of my friends about transitions in his life. In the past two years, some of his closest friends have gotten married. He’s very happy for them, of course, but he’s also grappling with how their marriages have changed his life. He can’t call them to spontaneously hang out anymore. He can’t just show up to their apartments out of the blue, because they may have plans with their wives. He is still very close with his friends, but he’s learning how to let go of the previous stage of their friendship and enter the next.
Grief, after all, is learning to let go of that which you cannot have. And grief isn’t a bad thing or a good thing; it’s a way to respond to changes in life. If he did not grieve, he may still be trying to hold onto that old stage, which could lead to bitterness and resentment. My friend cherishes the relationship he had with his friends when they were single. And it’s not like he’s expecting them to not get married just for his sake. I told him that it’s healthy to process his feelings regarding the change with other people, and maybe even talk about it with his friends. They can plan out how to maintain their friendship in a new season.