Several years ago, I went through a year of peer counseling (Stephen Ministry, for those who know it.) In one session, I was recalling some past trauma with my counselor. I told him “I just want to get to the point in which all of this is gone, like it never happened.” My peer counselor told me “You know, the truth is that it doesn’t work that way. You can’t make the event go away. All you would be doing is pretending. The trauma happened. But what you can do is get the point at which it no longer has control over you.”
It’s like a physical wound. At first, it’s painful and may even limit what you can do. Over time, the wound heals, but leaves a scar. The scar is a reminder of what happened, but it no longer has power over you.
On that day, I learned to stop asking, hoping, and praying for forgetting, and to start asking, hoping, and praying for healing.